Human tendencies toward violence date back to the earliest periods of human history. In addition to the violence humans inflict on each other, violence against other living beings has been a trend we’ve witnessed throughout history. Unfortunately, the likelihood of someone experiencing violence increases when they inflict the same experience on others. It’s like a contagious disease.
Violence, which manifests in many different forms and shapes, is most common when the physically strongest inflict violence on those weaker. For example, every day, the third page of newspapers is filled with incidents of violence committed by men against women. While these physical acts of violence sometimes result in minor injuries, they can also, unfortunately, lead to loss of life.
I have written about the issue of violence committed by men against women many times before. I’m sharing links to some relevant articles below:
https://www.serhansuzer.com/tr/turkiyede-kadina-siddetin-neden-onune-gecilemiyor
https://www.serhansuzer.com/tr/birlesik-hosgoru-toplumundan-siddetistana
https://www.serhansuzer.com/tr/kadinlarin-haykirisi-challengeaccepted
I’ve also written articles about violence in general. Here are those articles:
https://www.serhansuzer.com/tr/dunyayi-iyilestirmek-isteyenlerle-her-seyi-kendine-isteyenlerin-mucadelesi
https://www.serhansuzer.com/tr/iyi-olarak-kalmak-bir-mucadeledir-bu-dunyada
I also wrote an article about violence against animals, which is a bleeding wound in our country:
https://www.serhansuzer.com/tr/ulkemizde-hayvan-haklarinin-hakkini-verebilecek-miyiz
On Violence Perpetrated by Women
While men typically inflict violence on women, weaker men, or animals, we sometimes witness women perpetrating violence as well. In fact, sometimes the violence women inflict on other women or men can be more brutal than the violence perpetrated by men.
Let me clarify right away that violence isn’t just physical violence. It can also be inflicted in different forms, such as verbal violence and psychological violence. In this article, I will discuss the different types of violence when discussing violence.
Let’s begin with some of my own experiences and observations. First, let’s address the verbal violence perpetrated by women.
About 11 years ago, the ‘super-intelligent’ officials of the Turkish Football Federation, instead of closing stadiums to prevent verbal and physical violence in stadiums, invented “women and children” matches. In other words, they introduced the idea of not allowing any men into the stadiums, allowing women and children as spectators as a punishment. The football federation officials, aiming to provide positive discrimination against women and children and punish men who frequently attend matches, initially received support and positive reactions: https://www.milliyet.com.tr/gundem/kadikoy-de-kadin-devrimi-1441203
But then things didn’t go as planned. We first realized there was a problem with this penalty while watching the match on screen. I’m not talking about the high-pitched sounds caused by the mass chants of female fans. Then we realized the broadcaster started cutting the sound from time to time as the match continued. We thought there must be a technical issue.
Profane women chanting in front of children
I personally understood what was going on after talking to a friend who had attended such a match. My friend, who had attended a Beşiktaş match, and I had the following conversation:
– Well, going to a match with only women and children must be an enjoyable experience. Did you enjoy it?
– What fun? I was embarrassed for my own gender.
– What do you mean? What happened?
– I’ve never heard such profanity in my life. I never imagined my fellow women could lose their minds and swear like that.
– What do you mean? Were women also mass-swearing?
– Absolutely! In fact, I heard some of the profanities for the first time. Didn’t you hear them on screen?
– No, we didn’t. Wait a minute. Maybe that’s why the broadcaster kept muting the match.
—Exactly. There was swearing from the beginning to the end. But at times, they would escalate the intensity.
—So, weren’t there children at the match? How could they swear in front of them?
—Yes, there were. But the ones swearing were mostly childless women. Still, it was a very strange experience for me.
After this dialogue, I clearly understood what was happening. After a while, the football federation abolished this practice. What started with good intentions had once again ended in disaster. Of course, I’m not solely blaming the women here. I think the women who used the harshest swear words were conditioned and guided, especially by their fanatical male relatives. But this still doesn’t legitimize the verbal violence. I especially can’t stand the vulgar insults uttered by women in an environment where children are present. Of course, I gave the example of a friend who went to a Beşiktaş match. This problematic situation applies to all teams. That’s why this practice was abolished a few years later.
I think the most important aspect of this incident is that it gives me goosebumps when I think about the central role women play in raising children. Can you imagine how women who can curse like women in front of their children can raise them? When I see these expectant mothers, I understand why some men are raised to be recklessly aggressive and unprincipled. This is a cycle of ignorance and inferiority, and the way to break this cycle is through the proper upbringing of women.
Derby violence
Speaking of football, I can’t help but mention a disgraceful incident in our football history. Last year, Galatasaray and Fenerbahçe took a significant step forward in women’s football by establishing their own women’s football teams. On 2 December, Galatasaray and Fenerbahçe announced in a joint statement, “Our stance is clear, our stance is one: We say no to violence against women,” and announced that they would be playing their first women’s football match.
This first friendly match, played at Galatasaray Stadium to raise public awareness about violence against women, attracted considerable attention. The match was watched from the stands by Family and Social Services Minister Derya Yanık, Justice Minister Abdülhamit Gül, İYİ Party Chairman Meral Akşener, Istanbul Governor Ali Yerlikaya, Provincial Sports Director Burhanettin Hacıcaferoğlu, numerous guests, and football fans.
The teams took the field with the slogan ‘We Say No to Violence Against Women.’ During substitutions, substitutes held up cards reading ‘No to Female Deaths’ and ‘Stop Violence Against Women.’
Everything was going according to the significance of the day. As the kickoff whistle blew, the men’s competition for superiority and the ‘we are the greatest’ egos dominated women’s football.
After Galatasaray player Daniels, who received a red card early in the match and left his team shorthanded, Fenerbahçe never slowed down, scoring seven goals and winning 7-0.
Can you imagine, in a special match themed “End Violence Against Women,” you take advantage of your opponent’s lack of strength and push yourself harder, trying to establish your own superiority in this first-ever women’s match in a long-standing rivalry. As is the norm in sports, you slow down when the score is at most 3-0 or 4-0, trying not to offend your opponent. In a match themed “End Violence Against Women,” you’re especially careful not to offend your opponent. But the men clearly fueled the Fenerbahçe women, and in such a meaningful match, they went on and on, disregarding the essence of the situation. It’s a disgrace. This match has gone down as a dark stain in Turkish Sports History.
Women’s Violence Against Children and Women
We can encounter situations where women conditioned or manipulated by men commit violence against other women or severely impact them. A recent example of this is Ghislaine Maxwell, who was found dead in prison in the US while in custody for aiding American billionaire Jeffrey Epstein, who was accused of sexually abusing girls, pedophilia, and establishing a prostitution ring. As a result, Maxwell, who was instrumental in the severe sexual abuse of numerous underage girls, is facing a serious criminal charge.*
Violence Born from Manipulation
In addition to violence by women manipulated by men, violence can also occur because of women manipulating men. This doesn’t just manifest as physical violence; it often manifests as psychological violence. There are many examples of this all around us. A stepparent sows the seeds of hatred towards their son, while also cheaply feigning protection. The enraged father eventually snaps at his son, causing a serious rift between them and leading to family drama.
I could cite many similar examples. Another typical example is the daughter-in-law-mother-in-law conflict. A groom, incited by his bride or mother, may lash out at his mother or wife. This could strain their relationship. Ultimately, beyond direct violence, in my opinion, indirectly influencing others to trigger violence is equally bad and should not occur.
Women’s Violence Against Their Same-Sex
We sometimes witness physical fights between women. Physical fights between young women in schools and fights between women living in the same neighborhood are some of the depressing incidents we occasionally read about in the news. Some women even torture each other. The case of M.K., who was tortured by Sara Demir and her friend Tuğba Demirci at a residence in the Selçuklu district of Konya, where she went at the invitation of her ex-boyfriend Murat Demirci, is one such example. Here is the related news report: https://www.hurriyet.com.tr/gundem/rezidanstaki-iskencede-iddianame-kabul-edildi-42050886
Sometimes, men can also be subjected to psychological and physical violence by women close to them. Here are some examples, including some famous people, two from Turkey and two from the United States:
Examples of female violence against men
The first news story I can give you in Turkey is about a woman who, dissatisfied with the nose surgery she had undergone, had her doctor brutally beaten. In Ankara, Prof. Dr. Aydın Acar was brutally beaten by Sezgin A. and Uğur G., who blocked his car in traffic.
Two suspects, allegedly instigated by Acar’s patient Zehra Ç., who was dissatisfied with the nose surgery Acar performed three years ago, were captured and arrested: https://tr.sputniknews.com/20220422/yaptirdigi-burun-ameliyati-estetigini-begenmeyen-kadin-doktoru-olduresiye-dovdurdu-1055775741.html
Another known example of a male victim of female violence in Turkey is former national team football player Emre Aşık, who has been unable to escape his ex-wife’s custody. Events have escalated to such a degree that it has been revealed that his ex-wife, Yağmur Sarnıç, even hired a man to kill Emre Aşık. The sentence sought in the case filed in Düzce against former national team football player Emre Aşık, his ex-wife Yağmur Sarnıç, Erdi Sungur, and Baycan Şenürek for allegedly plotting to kill him has been determined. The public prosecutor has requested that the defendants be convicted of attempted murder. Here is the related news report: https://www.ntv.com.tr/yasam/emre-asikin-eski-esi-yagmur-sarnic-icin-istenen-ceza-belli-oldu,3Ur_kZy0FEKmLtOGHBMsNg
Yağmur Sarnıç, who had a contentious divorce from former football player Emre Aşık and faced numerous lawsuits, has finally gone to prison. Yağmur Sarnıç, who has been serving sentences of forced imprisonment, finalized prison sentences, and suspended prison sentences, has been wanted for approximately two months: https://www.fanatik.com.tr/emre-asikin-eski-esi-yagmur-sarnic-ile-ilgili-flas-gelisme-2275019
Meanwhile, there are women who instigate spousal murder or who kill their spouses themselves. One example of this comes from the US. 68-year-old Nancy Crampton Brophy, famous for her novels “The Woman Who Killed Her Husband,” was arrested for the murder of her husband. Here is the related news: https://www.ntv.com.tr/dunya/kocanizi-nasil-oldurursiniz-kitabinin-yazari-esini-oldurdu,Acf8Vm0bNUy91rUKfEF_hg
Johnny Depp, Amber Heard case
The most significant example of male spousal victimization in the US was the Johnny Depp-Amber Heard case, which has been a hot topic in global media for months. Actor Johnny Depp has won his defamation lawsuit against his ex-wife, Amber Heard. In the six-week-long case, a Washington Post article in which Heard described being subjected to violence was ruled defamatory. Heard will pay Depp $15 million in damages.
The case between Johnny Depp and his ex-wife, Amber Heard, which has been ongoing since 11 April, has broken ratings records across all media outlets (press, social media, etc.).
In the US, broadcasters like SkyNews and Fox were covering the case minute by minute, and YouTube channels were broadcasting it live. Stickers were already ready on Instagram from the very first day. Hashtags related to the case were trending every few days on Twitter. On TikTok, clips related to the Depp & Heard case have surpassed hundreds of millions of views.
While some debate whether Heard’s “psychological issues” are borderline or hysteria, and some believe that her actions during the case have “dealt irreparable blows” to the #metoo movement, others argue the opposite.
Insightful links to the famous case
Here are some of the testimonies Johnny Depp gave in court, telling the story of how he met Amber Heard: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vB6epC4fXDs
An Instagram post summarizing the case (in one of the videos, Amber Heard says in the audio recording, “I didn’t punch you, I hit you”): https://www.instagram.com/p/CcqN3Gbv4yk/?igshid=MDJmNzVkMjY=
Johnny Depp saying he never laid a hand on Amber Heard: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CcjGO-yJcNf/?igshid=MDJmNzVkMjY=
Statement from Johnny Depp’s bodyguard who witnessed his injury: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CchkOslgvAc/?igshid=MDJmNzVkMjY=
Amber Heard’s Johnny Witness testimony alleging she cheated on Depp dozens of times: https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cdv1AaiAqZD/?igshid=MDJmNzVkMjY=
Ultimately, Johnny Depp won the case: https://edition.cnn.com/2022/06/01/entertainment/johnny-depp-amber-heard-verdict/index.html
The Meaning of the Amber Heard – Johnny Depp Case
The main reason this case is so widely followed worldwide is because there are millions of men and even women suffering from similar issues (the wrath of toxic women). Johnny Depp’s victory in this case stems from his financial resources and his determination to pursue the matter to the end to expose the slander that destroyed his life. Let’s not forget that there are millions of men and even women around the world who have been slandered in similar ways. When those slandered lack the financial resources to change the negative circumstances that make their lives miserable, they are unable to respond appropriately, resulting in a grave injustice. If we assume that the vast majority lack sufficient financial resources, you can imagine the extent of the resulting injustice.
There are millions of women around the world who play the role of victims, often putting men (and sometimes women) in a very difficult situation. Unfortunately, in our world, those with power (usually men) are considered guilty until proven guilty, and prejudice immediately arises, and generally, all women believe these slanderous claims. I’d like to share a beautiful conversation I recently came across on Instagram: Wisdom | Entrepreneurship (@billionaire_hustle) shared on Instagram: Wisdom | Entrepreneurship (@billionaire_hustle) Instagram’da paylaşımda bulundu: “Take a very long time on deciding the woman you marry and have kids with. Getting this wrong can and will drive a man insane and set you…” • Haz 4, 2022 at 2:25ös UTC
An example from my own life
Women who commit verbal, psychological, and even physical violence, although relatively fewer in number than men, exist all over the world. I’d like to share an example from my own experience. A few years ago, I realized that my relationship with my then-girlfriend was no longer viable. When I talked her into ending it, she suddenly started yelling, “You can’t leave me!” and practically kicking me. She then slapped me hard. To my surprise, I reflexively dodged the first slap. As she was about to slap me for the second time, I caught her hand in midair and warned her, “What are you doing? Get a grip!” As soon as she lowered her hand, she attempted a third slap, but I caught her hand in midair again, this time telling her, “I want you to leave.” I then held her hand to prevent her from engaging in any more physical violence. Talking calmly, I led her to the parking lot of my apartment complex. It was a real struggle to calm her down. But somehow, I managed to get her into her car and leave without any fighting or commotion. By doing so, she had clearly demonstrated that she wasn’t the right person.
This behavior from my ex-girlfriend, a professional executive, shocked me. After all, you’d expect people of this caliber to be of a certain stature. However, this tendency toward aggression can only arise when people can’t control themselves. That’s why I know many working women who say, “I don’t prefer to work under another woman.”
Still, I’m grateful for what I have. What’s happening in my country? Here’s the story of a man who was threatened, beaten, and even stabbed by a former girlfriend who had become a psychopath:
In conclusion, it’s not just men who have a tendency to violence. There are many people who resort to violence, including women and even LGBTQ+ individuals. Just as there are good and bad people in the world, there are also people with aggressive and calm personalities.
What Dostoevsky taught us
By the way, violence should never be taken for granted or become a habit. This applies to all forms of violence. Dostoevsky’s book “Memories from the House of the Dead,” written about his years in prison, contains important lessons. I can give you an example from this book:
In exile, Dostoevsky conducted an observational experiment on human relationships with a prison dog.
He follows the dog and observes that every prisoner who passes by kicks it. The interesting thing is that the dog doesn’t run away from the prisoners, but instead bends down and assumes a kicking position whenever a prisoner approaches. Every prisoner who passes by the dog kicks the dog, and the dog doesn’t react.
One day, Dostoyevsky approaches the dog and begins to pet its head. The dog stares at it in surprise for a moment, then quickly walks away and barks bitterly.
From that day on, the dog, kicked by the prisoner, runs away from Dostoyevsky wherever it sees him and never approaches him again.
This situation always shows us that those who experience evil will struggle to adapt to love, and will even flee.
This is how creatures who have accepted evil as a condition of life are deeply surprised and bewildered when they see love, brotherhood, and sharing. This dog, whose soul has been enslaved, hungers for love. This is also true for humans… Sometimes the people you treat badly love you deeply, while sometimes those you treat kindly hate you. While everyone lives a life fraught with distress and dissatisfaction, this is perhaps the biggest problem of our time. A lack of love and the perception of evil as justified.
Ways to combat violence
In my opinion, there are several ways to reduce violence:
1) We need to instill in people love and empathy (the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes) from a very young age. Let’s not forget that a child who has experienced violence as a child has a higher tendency to commit violence later in life. Conversely, a child raised with love and respect will avoid violence and even try to protect those who have been subjected to violence.
2) We need to ensure that the penalties for all forms of violence are deterrent and applied without exception. Cases filed must also be concluded quickly. Sentencing decisions must be made and implemented without bias.
3) Individuals with violent tendencies should be identified and monitored in advance, and even ensured that they undergo rehabilitation at regular intervals. If we proactively work on individuals prone to violence, we can prevent some incidents before they occur. I hope that violence will decrease significantly in future generations. To achieve this, efforts must be made now by the state, civil society, and the private sector. If we plant the seeds today, we will see the results years later. It doesn’t matter. Just like the walnut story taught to us by İshak Alaton, we need to start planting the saplings now.**
Note:
*After writing this article, Ghislaine Maxwell was sentenced to 20 years in prison. Here’s the related news: https://edition.cnn.com/2022/06/28/us/ghislaine-maxwell-sentencing/index.html
**Here is the walnut story taught to us by İshak Alaton:
May both İshak Bey and his partner Üzeyir Bey rest in peace.
Tag: education
