Yesterday, at the restaurant where I took my mother out to dinner, I chanced upon an acquaintance I’d previously met through TİDER (Turkish Food and Drug Administration). They’d come to this vegetarian restaurant in Etiler with one of their closest friends and their children. While we were chatting at this place, ‘Bi Nevi Deli,’ which I highly recommend to everyone, both of their sons were playing inside.
My acquaintance’s son, Kemal, put down his homemade popsicle stick and told his mother he wanted to play with his friend. His mother said, “Let’s not waste it. If you’re going to leave it, let’s put it in the freezer and eat it later.” This is a crucial contribution to a child’s personal development. A child’s brain is like a sponge until they’re 10 years old. They take what you give, and all that you give them affects their entire life. It’s incredibly valuable for a mother to advise her child not to waste at this age. As I’ve mentioned in previous articles, I highly value parenting and educator training in this country. Raising healthy future generations requires starting with parents and educators. I’ll continue to write more detailed articles on this topic in the future.
Getting back to the topic, when Kemal went to play with his friend Ali, I continued my conversation with Kemal’s mother, whom I knew from before, and the mother of his close friend Ali. I told her, “You’re trying to get your son to eat now, but hopefully, 30-40 years from now, your son will be taking you out to dinner, just like you see at our table right now.”
Both close friends smiled and said, “I hope so.”
Last week, the three women who made Serhan what he is visited my newly relocated office. From left to right, you can see my aunt, me, my grandmother, and my mother. After leaving the family business in 2011, we put a lot of effort into bringing together my four startups (EkoRE, Moka, EkoCCS, and Bonbon) in our company headquarters, which we built in accordance with our vision. This photo was taken in the library of the new company headquarters, which visitors described as resembling a university campus.
What kind of story will you write?
I wanted to share this moment I experienced yesterday with you because, in my opinion, the most important thing in life is to have a healthy and happy life. Having your family always by your side, and being there for your family, is one of the cornerstones that will ensure this.
In fact, life passes very quickly; we all have limited time. Everyone has a story, good or bad. The kind of story you will write is shaped from an early age. I’ve long wanted to turn the article About Life (http://www.serhansuzer.com/tr/hayata-dair ), which I wrote during a time when I was deeply moved, into a series and share my experiences with all my friends and young people just starting out. You can consider this article as a continuation of my article About Life.
There’s so much I could write about this subject. I’d like to start by sharing a song I came across recently on the radio, Gençliğime Sevgilerimle (With My Love for Youth) by Nil Karaibrahimgil, one of the most successful artists in her field in Türkiye.
Nil and I didn’t cross paths, but at least for a while during our youth, we shared similar paths. Nil Karaibrahimgil and I attended the same high school. She was a year older than me. Some of her close friends are also my friends, but for some reason, we didn’t stay in touch much. Still, as a fellow alumnus from the same high school, I’d like to say I’m proud of her style and her accomplishments.
Türkiye always needs such bright faces. Now, let’s talk about her song Gençliğime Sevgilerimle (With My Love for My Youth). You can listen to it at https://youtu.be/-yYCL5S2QI0 . Beyond the song’s pleasant sound, what’s truly valuable are its lyrics. I recommend all young people and friends to revisit the following lyrics while listening to this song:
For my foreign readers, I would like to share a beautiful picture by Nil Karaibrahimgil that depicts the situation.
Gençliğime Sevgilerimle (To my youth with love)
If I had a time machine and went back to my youth, say, when I was 17, I would tell myself the following:
The most important thing is love. Live it to the fullest. That’s one thing.
Find what you love to do, and then see if you can do it. If you can’t, don’t waste your energy; let those who can, do it.
If you can, you’re one of the luckiest people in the world. Bite your tongue and don’t tell anyone.
Find people you love and find ways to do things with them. Life is about “do, do, work, succeed.”
And if you spend this marathon with those you love deeply, you’re not doing anything; you’re constantly making love.
Hold a few people’s hands tightly. Share their troubles, soar with their happiness, and listen to what they say. Lose them. When everything changes, you’ll need those who know and love you at your truest.
Don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t choose based on others’ criteria! Then you’ll go where others will go. What are you doing there? Your path is different, your slopes are different!
Don’t listen to what your neighbors say. Your neighbor will only talk about your life for 15 minutes, but you’ll live it until the day you die.
Move, make it a habit to move every day. Obsess over a sport, obsess over dancing, obsess over chess. Your obsessions will eventually gild and rain down on you, gild and rain down on you.
Read every day, read everything. Learn what it’s like to be a tree, what it’s like to be Van Gogh, what it’s like to fight in World War II! One day, they’ll all come together like a puzzle and reveal incredible truths to you.
Girls like intelligence, hard work, and success, and humor. Boys like beauty, demeanor, and peace.
Life is driven by habits. If you want to do something well, make it a habit right away. Habits are built through repetition. That’s how the brain is programmed. If you do something constantly, it won’t think about anything else; it just does it that way. So pay close attention to your habits!
Remember, whatever you make a habit will be your life.
I know waking up early sounds awful, but “the early bird gets the worm” is the truest thing I’ve ever heard. Sometimes you’ve finished three things by 8:30, and you can’t believe the relativity of time.
Don’t gossip! Do you know what gossip is like? It’s like dumping garbage in your house; it stinks up your mouth, your insides, and your entire home. You think it’ll relax you, but it just makes you dirty. Laugh it off. And don’t forget that those who gossip invariably face the things they criticize, dislike, and slander. That’s life’s sense of humor.
Girls, when you’re a beautiful woman, get your own horse. Earn your own money and spend it like crazy. That way, you won’t get off your horse and onto the donkey with breakups and divorces. No one can take your horse from under you. You can gallop off somewhere else.
Men, when you’re a beautiful man, never raise your hand against women, children, or even each other. That’s not power! It’s brute force. It comes from fear. The fear of loss. And you can’t hold someone by squeezing them in your fist. On the contrary, you’ll leave the palm open. Don’t blame anyone. Blame is, how can I say, a toxic emotion. It slows people down, puts them in a victim mentality. It leaves them idle. Even now, write “I don’t feel guilty” on the wall.
Write “I don’t feel guilty. I don’t feel guilty. I don’t feel guilty.” You’ll see how beneficial it will be.
Take an hour away from your phones, computers, and televisions. Socialize with yourself, or you’ll forget what kind of person you are. Life has a truth that isn’t reflected to you by others.
Listen to it like listening to a seashell. Don’t give your loneliness to anyone. Share everything except your loneliness. Because life is beautiful when shared.
Be grateful every day! Never leave gratitude in your prayers. Nothing is as good as gratitude.
It’s even better than asking for something or wishing for it. It warms your soul. “What I have is enough for me, and even more than enough” is the most beautiful philosophy in the world. Don’t ask for anything from someone; give something instead, and see what happens.
There will be dark days. You will fall. Wounds will open. In those times, remember this: the tunnel will end. You will rise, and you will scab over. Look at your loved ones and tirelessly say,
“I love you. I love you so much.” Even say, “I will love you no matter what you do, no matter who you are.”
Don’t be afraid of fear. Don’t even be afraid. Then close your eyes and look into the darkness. Maybe someone paved the way, who knows?
Don’t brag, don’t be arrogant, don’t get angry. Exaggerate, multiply, and shine. Don’t brag, don’t be arrogant, don’t get angry. Exaggerate, multiply, and shine.
Imagine and listen to a writer narrate your life every day. Would you like to be such a hero? If you do, you are succeeding. How lucky you are.
Living well with Pura Vida
I would sign off for every word of these lyrics. Bless your heart, Nil, you’ve given some wonderful advice.
Of course, I have much more to add to the ‘Life’ advice here. I’ll save that for other articles in this series. In my next article, I’ll write about the Pura Vida philosophy of living life well and about Costa Ricanism.
For now, stay well…
Tag: memoir
