Almost everyone in Türkiye knows Arda Turan. For my local and international readers who don’t know him, let me summarize his identity in a few sentences.
Arda, who came up through the Galatasaray Sports Club youth academy, rose to fame playing for Galatasaray’s senior team. He also performed well for the national team, earning a hefty transfer fee to Atletico Madrid and then Barcelona. Arda, the second Turk to play for Barcelona and one of Türkiye’s most promising players in history, experienced a period of ups and downs with the team. Following his volatile performance, he physically assaulted journalist Bilal Meşe on the plane returning from the Macedonia game earlier this month, ultimately forcing him to resign from the national team. The reason for his attack stemmed from the controversy surrounding players demanding higher bonuses for international games, which emerged during the group stage, and the claim that Arda was a key figure in this, which journalist Bilal Meşe also wrote about. I’d like to share this article with you: http://www.milliyet.com.tr/bilal-mese-ucakta-terim-arda-zirvesi-2344480-skorer-yazar-yazisi/
I’d also like to share with you a news report about the incident:http://www.ntv.com.tr/spor/arda-turan-gazetecibilal-meseye-saldirdi-milli-takim-ucaginda-kavga,0od1zvjwmU-FgZKN6lGEQw
The photo taken by Bilal Meşe and Arda Turan together
Now, let’s move on to the real recipient of this post. I’m writing to Arda. I’ll be sending this to him through an acquaintance. I hope he understands that this post is for his own good and heeds my advice. Now, let’s get to the post:
Dear Arda,
Ask the friend who forwarded this message to you about me. Have him tell you who I am. Beyond being 10 years older than you, I have significant life experience. I empathize with you and am aware of many things happening in Türkiye; I’ve personally seen and experienced a great deal. I’m sure dozens of people, especially loved ones, have spoken to you about your experiences and offered advice. I know you from the press, and I’ve read the events as they were reported. I’m sure there are many details I haven’t read or that have been misrepresented. Still, I can see the root of the problem and want to help you find a way out of this situation. That’s why I decided to write this post.
I know you’re feeling very frustrated right now, feeling like you’ve been caught in a plot and used in a way you don’t deserve. Your anger grows as you think that journalists and many others have violated your rights, that they’ve put you in a very difficult situation, and even that you and your family have been insulted. I recommend that you read the advice I’m about to give you with a calm mind and apply the following suggestions as much as you can to get yourself out of this situation:
- Never raise your hand against anyone older than you again
No matter how right you are, never raise your hand against anyone older than you. Bilal Meşe is over 60, and you’re 30. Sometimes anger can make people lose control and do things they would never do. Never allow it. Control your ego.
I’d like to tell you something I experienced that you might empathize with: We have a seat in the Galatasaray box. If I’m in Istanbul, I try not to miss Galatasaray’s games. I consider myself a dedicated Galatasaray fan. I went to the game where Galatasaray came from behind to beat Real Madrid 3-2 with two foreign guests. Despite the worst traffic I’ve ever seen, and even using the tunnels, it took me 2.5 hours to get from Dolmabahçe to Galatasaray stadium. My American and Spanish guests accompanied me. With two minutes left before kickoff, we made our way from the stadium parking lot to our VIP section. While waiting to go through the turnstile, the man in front of us spent a minute swiping his card and couldn’t get in. We wanted to be there before the game started. Ahead of us, a 70-year-old man in a scarf was acting erratically. With just seconds left, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I said, “Sir, can we just scan it and get in?” The following exchange ensued between us:
- Why?
- The game is about to start, sir. We barely made it into the stadium anyway. I have foreign guests with me. We don’t want to miss the kickoff. We’re asking you, let’s scan our cards in a few seconds and then move on.
- Your foreign guests are none of my business. Are you a loser?
- I’m asking you something very politely, and you’re insulting us. You couldn’t get your card scanned for a minute, we’re waiting here. The game is about to start.
- It’s none of my business. You’ll have to wait here! (He started yelling and continued to complain.)
At this point, the security guard in front of us turned to me and said, “Sir, don’t make a scene.” I was starting to get angry; it was obvious from the man’s bad breath and his movements that he was drunk. I said to the security guard, “Instead of telling the drunk insulting man here, ‘Move over here,’ you’re telling me ‘Don’t do anything.’ Why aren’t you doing your job?”
“Just deal with it,” the security guard replied. I turned to the man and said, “You’re obviously drunk. I can’t deal with you,” offering my foreign guests the entrance through the turnstiles on the other side. We turned, walked to the turnstiles on the other side, and, albeit late, entered. Security conducted a body search, and just as we were about to ascend the escalator, I noticed the same man waiting for us at the top of the stairs. When the man saw us, he continued his insults.
“Come here, let me put you in your place. Why are you criticizing my drinking? Are you religious? We’ll kick bigots like you out of this country,” he said. The man continued to insult me.
After these last words, I began to feel my vision darken. I was entering a very dangerous phase. Those who know me know. I’m normally calm; if I were to enter such a state, I’d dive in without hesitation, even if I were facing the Turkish boxing champion. But something was different. The man was in his 70s. At that moment, my inner voice became dominant. The image of what would happen if I attacked him began to flash before my eyes like a movie reel. After I’d broken the guy’s nose and mouth, I saw a picture like, “Serhan Süzer beat up a 70-something-year-old man at the Galatasaray stadium.” I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I paused, then pulled myself together within seconds.
While I was thinking about these things, the guy continued to insult me. All I said to him was, “I can’t deal with a drunk like you. You should be ashamed of your age.” To my foreign guests who were asking me, “Serhan, is everything okay?” I said, “Come on, we’re going upstairs.” We went upstairs without doing anything. The guy continued to yell after us.
The foreign guests were also insistently asking me what had happened. I briefly summarized the situation and said, “It’s unbecoming of me to deal with such a man like that,” and I dismissed the situation. Later, we witnessed a fantastic game in the box. The goals by Eboue and Drogba were especially unforgettable.
Now, do you understand what I mean by this story?
Normally, most Turks who hear these insults would physically attack the man. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
I’d like to give you the same advice: Even if you’re 100% in the right, there’s a certain etiquette to fighting. It wasn’t appropriate for you to physically attack someone so much older than you. Perhaps you were in the right, but you were wrong. Never let something like this happen again. Control yourself.
- Apologize to Bilal Meşe before returning to Spain this summer.
In line with the advice I just gave you, take a concrete step before returning to Spain this summer and apologize to Bilal Meşe. I don’t know Bilal Meşe at all. I don’t know what kind of journalist he is. But no matter what, it’s up to you to reassert your common sense after this incident. Apologizing to Bilal Meşe (for physically attacking him) won’t diminish your manliness; on the contrary, it will elevate you and foster common sense. Do it quietly. No one needs to know. After all, this is a matter between you and Bilal Meşe. Do it in a way that suits you.
- Stop fighting with the press
The state of the press in Türkiye is obvious. I won’t go into detail here. The state of the tabloid and sports press is seriously problematic. The tabloid and sports pages are the most read in both print and broadcast media. That’s why, in my opinion, those managing the press devote more pages than necessary to both. Because they don’t have constant material every day, they sometimes invent stories themselves. You are a key asset to both the tabloid and sports press. Therefore, every step you take, or don’t take, is under scrutiny. I’m sure there are plenty of bogus stories written about you. But since you can’t change this situation, you must play by the rules. I’d like to share an example from my own experience.
About 10 years ago, I attended a party hosted by my twin brother, Baran. Among those I chatted with at a table of acquaintances was a cousin’s friend. For some reason, there were also reporters from the tabloid press. Our reporter friend, observing this conversation, had another famous news anchor (who was married, to boot) publish my story. He presented it as news to a famous tabloid writer and told him to do it. We were very close with that married anchor, etc., etc., and the person writing this story had personally witnessed this intimacy, etc., etc.
Fake news has a basis, right? There’s no basis here. First, I’ve never met the married anchor he mentioned. Such an intimate atmosphere at the party was impossible. I’ve never seen him in my life. Second, the tabloid writer who wrote this wasn’t at the party. He took the story from the reporter there and wrote it as if he were there. In other words, it’s a completely baseless, false story. Eventually, I contacted the person who wrote this and had a retraction written. In a sense, we cleared up this disgrace.
But I didn’t stop there. I hosted dinner for all the tabloid reporters. At the dinner, I hosted at Bice, one of the best Italian restaurants of the time, and we discussed many topics with the reporters. The reporters began by apologizing to me. “Our friend made terrible mistakes. We apologize on his behalf,” they said. I explained to them that I didn’t want to be in the media like this and that I wanted to exist through my work.
After this event, believe me, they didn’t take any pictures of me for at least five or six years. In fact, when I entered a restaurant, the reporters at the door would lower their cameras and say, “Good evening, Mr. Serhan.”
My point is, you get what you pay for how you treat people. For the paparazzi, whom many people despise and belittle, I hosted dinner. We had a pleasant conversation. They showed me the same respect I showed these friends, who work under difficult conditions. Not now, but in the future (time heals many wounds), I recommend you organize something like this for journalists.
- Simplify your surroundings
There are three types of people. In English, they’re expressed as ‘extroverts,’ ‘introverts,’ and ‘ambiverts.’ While there aren’t exact equivalents in Turkish, we can roughly translate them as follows: extroverts, introverts, and people who exhibit introverted or extroverted traits in different situations. My guess is that you have an extroverted personality. That means you enjoy socializing. You thrive on connecting with other people. This has its advantages and disadvantages. Life needs to be balanced. There’s nothing more natural than wanting to see loved ones. But constantly bringing dozens of people back and forth with you will eventually harm someone like you, a professional soccer player in Barcelona.
I call this the ‘Acun Syndrome.’ I first witnessed this extravagant lifestyle when I met Acun. At the time, I was the general manager of KFC and Pizza Hut restaurants. We were experiencing rapid growth. We achieved many firsts in Türkiye. One of these was what we call ‘product placement’ in marketing. On Survivor, we sent KFC fried chicken and Pizza Hut pizza to the winning teams on the island from KFC and Pizza Hut restaurants in the Dominican Republic. The exaggerated displays of joy from the contestants, who were suffering from severe hunger on the island, were driving our sales up. After the Survivor competition aired on Monday, we couldn’t get home delivery supplies on Monday and Tuesday. The call center’s phones were jammed. Even in the worst week, our sales increased by over 50%. Of course, we paid a significant sponsorship fee in return. Product placement also benefited us greatly in terms of recognition. Now, let’s get to meeting Acun.
After achieving such success, while assessing the situation with the person who managed sponsorships for Acun Media, he said, “Let me introduce you to Acun, Mr. Serhan.” I agreed, and the arrangements were made. Because it was Ramadan, they invited us to iftar. We went to his office an hour and a half before iftar, as arranged, with the intention of discussing business first and then moving on to iftar. My operations director and marketing manager were accompanying me at the time. When we arrived at his office, located in a villa in Levent, Acun was nowhere to be found. We waited for him for an hour. He didn’t show up. Then we sat down at the table where the iftar was being held. The table was crowded. It was pure banter. We found ourselves in a rather incoherent conversation. For example, while discussing with someone, I mentioned addressing them by name and saying I’d get to know them. One of the people at the table snapped at me, asking, “How can you call him by his name?” When I asked, “What am I supposed to say?” he told me I should call him “brother.” I told him, Are you training a child? I wouldn’t call someone three or four years older than me ‘brother’ after I turned 30.” Tensions rose. Then, I couldn’t convince the others at the table that I was over 30. The woman in charge of sponsorship (the only sensible person I’d met in Acun’s circle), sensing my discomfort with this nonsensical conversation, intervened. She introduced me and emphasized the importance of being cautious in conversations. Imagine the absurdity of the situation? While the top executives of the main Survivor sponsoring organization thought they were going to meet Acun one-on-one and have an iftar together, Acun arrived at the table an hour and a half late, and while he was seated among nearly 20 of his friends, the main sponsoring company executives were verbally abusing him. The sponsoring representative apologized to us, embarrassed by the situation. As a cold breeze blew through the table, Acun arrived at the table with sleepy eyes, five minutes before iftar. At first, he couldn’t grasp the situation. Without even speaking to us properly, he drank his water and started eating his food. Then, the manager at the table stepped back in and introduced us. A more polite conversation took place later in the evening. However, in my opinion, hosting the executives of one of Türkiye’s most important food retail brands, one of their biggest sponsors, was a complete fiasco. The main reason for this fiasco was Acun’s friends at the table. You probably know many of them. They may have been good people. Their presence didn’t benefit Acun; on the contrary, it hurt him. The chain of events revealed just how amateurish the situation was.
The same applies to you. You’re doing a professional job. You’re playing for one of the world’s best clubs, like Barcelona. You need to demonstrate the necessary professionalism. Of course, it’s important to surround yourself with friends and be happy, but the most important thing here, and the thing you should focus on, is very clear: Continuously improving your form, first making the starting eleven, then becoming an indispensable part of the team, and making significant contributions to Barcelona. In other words, simplify your surroundings and surround yourself with only those you love, value, and trust the most. Of course, maintain your relationships with others, but keep them more limited. Our ancestors said it well: where there’s a multitude, there’s a…
In other words, stop bothering people and trying to make them happy. Focus on your work.
- Forget Türkiye, Focus on Spain
In line with what I said above, I’d like to emphasize that you should forget Türkiye and focus on Spain. We have a wonderful culture. Family and friend ties are very strong in our country. But let your life in Türkiye remain in Türkiye. Experience Spain (or even Catalan culture where you are) in Spain. For example, learn to speak Spanish fluently (in addition to Spanish, an internationally oriented person like you should already speak English fluently; focus on the language and put in serious effort). If possible, even improve your Spanish to an interview-ready level. Always keep in mind that communication is a crucial part of your job. Do your best to learn their culture and integrate with the Barcelona crowd. Remember, playing for a club like Barcelona isn’t for everyone. Make the most of this gift. Whenever everyone at your club and in your city talks about you, they’ll say “our Arda.” If you strive to do so, your success will increase. People will continue to support you.
- Focus on your soccer (answer everyone with your soccer skills)
In the previous article, I said, “Leave Türkiye.” Leaving Türkiye means leaving everything behind. For example, don’t follow the Turkish press. Don’t watch Turkish television. The more you watch and read, the more confused you become, and the more you’ll drift away from your soccer experience in Barcelona. In a country like Türkiye, the controversy never ends. Let what happens in Türkiye stay in Türkiye. Focus on your job, that is, your soccer. Focus so hard that you improve your performance every day. People will watch you with envy. From now on, they’ll talk about Arda, who’s a real game-changer and represents Türkiye abroad in the best possible way, instead of the greedy, controversial Arda (I know he’s not like that).
- Be humble.
In a country like Türkiye, if you’re particularly popular, they’ll praise you to the skies. Then, before you even realize it, those same people will criticize you. As a nation, we tend to experience extreme emotions. Everything we do is exaggerated. Therefore, you’ll need to discipline yourself on certain matters. Don’t get too excited when they praise you, nor lose your self-confidence when they put you down. Think of yourself as the same Arda at heart, and reflect this to those you interact with. Maintain modesty. Show the same respect and love to everyone you interact with. And keep those who attack you or wish you harm at arm’s length, without hurting anyone.
- Follow the rules
As I mentioned earlier, one way to be modest is to not consider yourself superior to anyone. You may play for one of the world’s best soccer teams like Barcelona and be very popular, but remember that everyone you interact with has different qualities. Respect people.
From what I read in the newspaper (I don’t know how true it is, of course, but if it’s true), you first tried to enter the cockpit of a plane. The pilot of the plane you entered the cockpit with received a serious penalty. When the pilot refused to let you in, you became very angry and, as you were returning to your seat, you saw Bilal Meşe and attacked him. Besides attacking Bilal Meşe, I also found it strange that you wanted to enter the cockpit. There are rules on the plane. These are for everyone’s safety. Everyone must abide by the rules established for their safety, including those who consider themselves privileged. Never again make a request that will humiliate you or endanger anyone’s safety.
And never think you’re privileged. Follow the rules like a normal person. This doesn’t humble you; on the contrary, it elevates you.
- Get your personal life in order
Another way to be modest is to live a modest private life. Barcelona has a very good culture for this. This doesn’t necessarily mean dating a model. The turmoil in your personal life affects your soccer career. With this in mind, try to find someone with whom you can have a stable relationship. You’ll either find that person in Spain or you’ll have to bring them with you.
- Take Galatasaray legend Tugay Kerimoğlu as an example
When I think of achieving stability in my personal life, I first think of Galatasaray legend Tugay Kerimoğlu. When he married his wife Ekin, who played basketball for Galatasaray, there were many rumors about him. He never lost his gentlemanly demeanor. He quietly went to England and became a legend there. He may not have played for a club like Barcelona, but believe me, if the situation had been on his side, he could easily have played for a club like Real Madrid or Barcelona. He would have been a legend there too. In my opinion, Tugay is one of the best soccer players Türkiye has ever seen. He had incredible technique. We had a great time watching him. He led Blackburn Rovers on the field for years, despite his advancing age. The English admired him so much that they organized a farewell ceremony, as you can watch at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9ihAT29tYM. Not every soccer player experiences such love. He never focused on anything but soccer. His wife, a former professional athlete, constantly supported Tugay for years. I recommend following Tugay’s example. In fact, go talk to him from time to time and learn from his experiences. Believe me, Tugay will be much more useful to you than the overly aggressive soccer player who is hated by the majority of people in Türkiye and constantly starts fights on the field, or the former soccer player who has made a name for himself as a sports commentator and is willing to do anything for his own benefit.
Tugay playing for Blackburn Rovers
Tugay with his wife
Here is one of the magnificent goals scored by Tugay:
https://www.izlesene.com/video/tugay-kerimoglunun-unutulmaz-golu/8992553
- Demonstrate exemplary behavior for young soccer players (soccer is a stage)
Speaking of following Tugay’s example, I want to remind you that you too must set an example for those who come after you, and that you have a responsibility to do so. Remember, soccer isn’t just a game; it’s a stage. The spotlight is on the players. Their actions and experiences are closely monitored.
You have the power to mobilize a wide audience, whether it’s young soccer players who aspire to be like you or soccer fans who admire you. You must act responsibly and set an example in every way. If someone like you attacks people and starts fights in this way, your fans or the young people who watch you will continue this tendency toward violence. Such behavior would be seriously detrimental to our country, which has already become a highly tense society. In short, do your best to demonstrate exemplary behavior for everyone. This will also benefit the country.
- Stay away from politics
Since I said that soccer is a stage, and you must set an example for the young people who watch you, I also want to advise you to stay away from politics. You’re one of the icons of popular culture in Türkiye, and while you have the power to significantly influence people, don’t misuse it. Because, due to the current state of affairs in Türkiye, when you do something political, you’ll divide those who love you and those who don’t. The political climate in Türkiye is very intense. Whatever your thoughts are here, keep them to yourself and don’t take sides. You’re a soccer player who has valued Türkiye; you should act above politics.
- Show your respect for the national team in deeds, not words.
Being valued by Türkiye also brings responsibility. The national team is the most sacred jersey. Even celebrating it is a great honor. Playing for the national team requires paying money, not just receiving it (wages, bonuses, etc.). If I were you, I would donate all the bonuses, wages, etc. you received during your time with the national team, and even more, to the Mehmetçik Foundation or another NGO that has valued the country. I don’t know if what’s being said on this matter is accurate, but it would be appropriate to act this way from now on.
- Be actively involved in civil society work.
Do this work sincerely, lovingly, and willingly, not just for show. Taking on such a role or donating regularly to an NGO will elevate you both materially and spiritually. Don’t view your donations to NGOs as simply money coming out of your pocket. Life is essentially karma. All charitable work you do for humanity returns to you multiplied. Identify a trump card you can support. Give all you can to the most effective NGO to address this problem. Do this sincerely and fully embrace it.
- Manage your income and expenses well (cut your expenses)
I read in an interview that your monthly expenses are 80,000 TL. If this is true, this figure is quite high, even for a high-earning soccer player like you. It doesn’t matter if you have no spouse, no children, and you support a lot of people. Cut out your excess and reduce your expenses to reasonable levels. Remember, you need to have savings in case you’re left with nothing when your soccer career ends (which isn’t a very long time, probably 5-7 years from now). Therefore, you need to know how to manage your money, or if you’re having trouble with it, you need to learn from someone you trust. If you don’t, you’ll face serious difficulties in your post-soccer life. In fact, if you’re spending excessively and unnecessarily, you’ll struggle even now, even when you’re earning a substantial income. Remember, even in your prime, if you experience financial difficulties, you’ll experience serious loss of concentration, which will negatively impact your soccer career.
- Think about life after you retire
Always make long-term plans. For example, plan ahead for what you’ll do after your soccer career ends. Don’t do this with friends you consider close to you, but with people who have achieved real success in business and wealth management. It’s beneficial to seek mentorship from people who know the business and can guide you in the right direction.
That’s all the advice I can offer you for now. I hope you’ll read this advice thoroughly, believe it’s for your own good, and make the necessary effort. If you’d like to discuss it further, you know how to reach me. Stay well.
Tag: lifestyle
