From a united tolerable society to a violent one…
The land we live in has raised many important philosophers such as Yunus Emre, Mevlana Celaleddin Rumi and Hacı Bektâş-ı Velî. They all instill human love and tolerance in their teachings. However, there is no trace of this tolerance at the point reached today and we see that we are on the way to becoming a country of violence. I would like to share my suggestions and methods to reverse this process.
I would like to give an example from the discourses of these important representatives of mysticism who have shed light for hundreds of years to my foreign readers and those that don’t know much about the topic (let’s also not forget that many books have been written using the scriptures from these philosophers J)
Yunus Emre: “Tolerate the one created, even more than the creator”
Mevlana Celalettin Rumi “Come, come, whatever you are, come again”
Hacı Bektâş-ı Velî: “Be the master of your hands, tongue, and loins”
The philosophy of Sufism, adopted in Central Asia, Caucasus, Anatolia, Thrace and the Balkans, sheds light to the present despite all the storms. Now in the year 2018, what has happened in our country, with the legacy of these beautiful teachings from generation to generation? Embarrassingly, I'm going to be quite open:
To the child, the elderly, the disabled, the woman, the teacher, the student, the doctor, the patient, the employee, the colleague, the boss, the friend, the neighbour, the stranger, the passenger in the front/rear/right/left of the vehicle, the pedestrian, the mother, the father, the brother, the older brother, the sister, other relatives, opponents, athletes, referees, other fans, their supporters, etc. VIOLENCE!
This list goes on. I have difficulty understanding how we have become a country like this. Everyone is continually being violent to someone else. This should not just be perceived as physical violence. Verbal violence, psychological violence, sexual violence and all forms of moral violence are included in this disgrace.
‘Love filled’ violence for Sıla
Every day another issue arises. After what the football player Arda Turan did (you can read my article regarding this topic: http://www.serhansuzer.com/tr/nasihat-dinlemeyen-ardanin-onlenemeyen-cokusu), last week we witnessed another incident of violence which dropped like a bombshell.
I would like to briefly summarize the situation for my foreign readers: one being Sıla, who is quite a popular singer in Turkey, the other being a comedian, Ahmet Kural. They start a relationship last year, which ends at the beginning of this year. At the beginning of October this year, they start their relationship again. This time their relationship ends with a disaster. According to the news, Ahmet Kural beat Sıla in his own home for 45 minutes by constantly kicking, slapping, punching using hard objects. Sıla then files for prosecution and makes a criminal complaint. Ahmet Kural gets a 3-month restraining order to stay away from her. Of course, after the event, reciprocal statements find that the advertising campaign and contract that Unicredit were doing with Ahmet Kural is terminated by the owner of the Yapi Kredi Bank, which brings about more social media slamming of Ahmet Kural and his violence against women status. Another issue that makes the situation more complicated are the photos taken of Ahmet Kural and Sıla in their relationship which reflect so much love towards each other.
The photo that’s on everyone’s tongue. There are so many arguments on social media right now about how can a man “who looks at Sıla with so much love beat her”?
The problems behind violence
I would like to try and explain this. I don't know him personally, but a man who practices violence against a woman he loves most likely has these kinds of problems:
1. He has been exposed to violence in his past. Violence has either been done to him or he has witnessed it being done to others in his family. This unfortunately happens often when the father takes out violence against the mother or child.
a photo representation
2. He is ignorant.
3. No development in their culture therefore has a boasting macho like personality.
4. Can’t handle fame.
5. Those suffering from serious issues suddenly hit rock bottom and resort to drinking and taking drugs. I've witnessed seeing many people who drink and lose themselves. It can cost them their marriages and even their lives. Also, people in Turkey really don’t know how to drink. They always go overboard. Look at the fights that erupt in nightclubs. All the fights generally erupt after 3am. Why is that? Because people do things while drunk that they wouldn't do normally. Drinking reveals a different aspect to everyone. Some become aggressive, start fights, some constantly laugh, and some just sleep. Maybe that’s why, in developed countries, night clubs are closed at around 2am - 3am.
6. He has a psychological problem. He may be living his feelings at extremely different angles.
7. He can’t handle Sıla’s level of fame. Severe jealousy is a problem in every relationship.
The Derby and disgrace of the comments
Last week we witnessed the violence in the Galatasaray-Fenerbahçe game derby. I was personally embarrassed about what happened. Not only for Galatasaray, but in the name of Turkish football.
We all saw what happened. The match had already begun with fighting and brawling. Even while the footballers were warming up, they were having goes at each other. The match environment was also very stressful. Before the match, a young Fenerbahçe supporter suffered a heart attack and unfortunately lost his life. I wish mercy and patience from God to his family. Some impertinent fans even cheered on “Those that don’t love you should just die” which caused Fenerbahçe fans to justifiably leave the stadium in protest. I watched this event and followed the comments on the social media with much amazement.
For example, on Facebook, a very close family friend/businesswoman who I personally love and respect, shared the following (I will not be sharing names):
PHOTO SCRIPT TRANSLATION: Although till this age I have been a fan of FENERBAHCE, I have never been a fanatic. However, after this evening, I will FANATICALLY and forever have hatred for GALATASARAY.
I read this comment with amazement and sadness. Then I reacted, and after reading this comment, I deleted them from my friends list. I would like to say this to the lady: Why does the Galatasaray community have to pay the price for the impertinent fans? We may be Galatasaray fans, but we are also human. All of our hearts ached that night. What does “after this evening, I will FANATICALLY and forever have hatred for GALATASARAY” even mean? How can someone so reasonable like you say this? In saying all this, are you not now responding to violence with verbal violence? Because of these events, the country is being divided on every single issue, everyone is becoming an enemy to one another. It’s a pity and so sad.
I also would like to explain this to them: one day I went to a Fenerbahçe and Greek basketball team game on the invitation of one of my friend’s. We had another European friend with us. After the match, the anger of the Young FB fans towards Aziz Yildirim, meant that all fans got into a brawl. No, you didn't read it wrong. Fenerbahçe fans attacked one other in groups kicking and punching in the hall. The most touching comment came from the European friend sitting next to us, who witnessed the events and asked, “Which one are the Greek supporters?”. Now I want to ask you. Should Fenerbahçe pay the price for the fact that Fenerbahçe fans were beating each? I am against all kinds of violence, whether it comes from someone Turkish, Greek or from another country, I am against all forms till the end.
In order to return to a united tolerable society…
In the geography that we find ourselves (Central Asia, Caucasus, Anatolia, Thrace, the Balkans, the Middle East) which was once the cradle of civilization and somewhere where tolerance was bred, nowadays has filled with violence. I’m not even mentioning the wars and everything else that has happened. That is why our Violent Country needs to be transformed into a United Tolerance Society (UTS), where tolerance and brotherhood are again best experienced.
The problem is huge. However, there are so many things to do and solutions to reach in order to reach UTS. I have listed my suggestions below:
1) Education is a must!
I always say this. I've written about this many times before. This article I wrote at link http://www.serhansuzer.com/en/egitim-egitim-egitim-iste-butun-mesele- titled “Education, Education, Education”: it matters most… is what it’s all about. I'm not talking about education from schooling here, infact, there are three types of education that we have to touch on: First, the education between the ages of 2 and 10 years, where the child's perceptions are very clear and takes everything that is given to them. For example, in developed societies, parents take their 2-year-old children to charity work to undertake social responsibility which I talk about everywhere I go. When children grow up with a sense of charity, they grow up with a benevolent identity and can maintain that sense of responsibility in their lives. This is really important. The second most important education is the education of parents. Parents need to be more conscious of what emotions they should instill in their children and how they should behave.
There is an organization called ACEV which relates to parental education, however it needs to be spread all over Turkey. It may be a very difficult idea to implement, but I think that couples that want to have children must have a certain level education beforehand. The third important issue is “the education of the educators”. When I talk to trainers/teachers, I sometimes get the feeling that they are inadequate because many things in our education system are based on being memorized. A simple example; There are 3.5 million Turks living in Germany and the Turkish athletes from there become successful worldwide, but we cannot capture the same success in Turkey considering there is almost 80 million people population. In order to understand why this is happening, I think it is necessary to look at the institutions and educators that these athletes are being trained in.
2) Life or death football situation
It's ridiculous that football is a life or death situation. After all its just a game. One ball, two goal boxes and 22 players on the field as the main players of this game. Making this a matter of life and death situation is for those societies which haven’t developed. Many people who have no ambition and have not been able to put their life into order are the ones that have survived purely because of the success of their teams. When their teams succeed, they have some kind of personal satisfaction. However, it is necessary to tell these people and emphasize in every way that they need to find satisfaction from other things in life and that their teams’ success are not their own achievements.
3) Economic Development
On the other hand, in countries with high economic development, we can see the decline of fanaticism. People who have come to good places economically and have established their own lives and have a family, have a decreasing tendency to resort to violence. Because they then have got a lot to lose. The most dangerous and most vulnerable people come from those who have nothing to lose.
4) People’s participation in production
I would like to talk about the importance of participating in production within economic development. In general, people who work, produce and ones that have dreams are harmless. Every man either has a skill or born with skills and dreams. If we want to ensure prosperity in our country, we need to ensure that people reach their dreams and do their dream jobs in order contribute to society. Otherwise, violence is constantly nourished and enlarged by the growth of a herd of people who do not produce and do not pursue their dreams and passion.
It is necessary to give the harshest punishment to those who resort to violence. I'm not talking about punishment just for show. The punishment needs to be served ruthlessly and be applied with absolutely no compromise. In order for them to be a real deterrent, this punishment needs to scratched onto the head of a violent man to show that he has sanctioned in order to avoid violence from reoccurring.
This topic really doesn’t come into mind when it comes to violence. However, technology is a serious tool to prevent violence. You can use technology to detect and record incidents of violence. Again, to prevent violence, you can develop systems that will allow the relevant authorities to respond immediately. In addition to the effective use of advanced cameras; you can avoid violence with different defense systems based on WiFi or Bluetooth facilities. I recommend that analytical technologies are considered here. In the future (we're probably not going to see it in our generation), they're going to put a chip in people. Then the problem will be solved to a great extent. But it's early to talk about that right now. After detecting the problem and the one who created the problem, the deterrent penalties must be put into effect.
Mainstream media has to stop fueling the violence. On the contrary, they need to focus on anti-violence publications. In order to increase the ratings, organizations that do the exact opposite need to have sound sanctions. You are not to feel pity on those that encourage the violence. This is especially for the tabloid press about sport and magazine gossip in Turkey which are very recidivists. For those that encourages violence on social media, whether it is directly or indirectly, must be sanctioned. This also includes the fanatic groups on social media which portray a lot of profanity. At least make your account private. They need to prevent the opening of “fake” accounts. As I mentioned above, serious penalties need to be given to social media users who are actually verbally violent or who pave the way for physical violence.
8) Breeding a positive culture
In media, social media, education programs, it is necessary to instill a positive culture in every media. It is imperative that we rapidly leave this community of negative and aggressive people. Because this negativity ultimately results in violence.
9) Proactive approach
I'm talking about identifying those who have a tendency for violence and following them very closely. Technology can also be used here, and psychologists can be actively involved in this process. In this way, we can avoid many acts of violence.
In the hope of becoming a United Tolerable Society. Take care.