First, let me share the link to the original article, which you can find below:
Now, let me give you a summary of this article:
A kiss can stay in our memories for decades. It can cause butterflies in our stomachs, revive old memories, and carry an emotional weight even though the moment is long gone. For many of us, as in the stories shared by listeners, a single kiss at the right time is etched in our memory. Yet, scientists still don’t fully understand why this behavior, which seems so human to us, exists.
Our history of kissing begins with monkeys.
Evolutionary biologist Matilda Brindle began to question whether kissing is merely a cultural expression or a much older behavior. The answer may lie at least 21.5 million years ago, to the common ancestor of tailless apes. Chimpanzees, bonobos, and even some gorillas have been observed kissing, and other primates such as baboons and macaques exhibit similar behaviors. A comparison of species leads to one conclusion: kissing is likely older than humans.
However, the interesting thing is that romantic kissing is not universal across all human cultures. Romantic or sexual kissing occurs in only about 46% of documented cultures. This alone constitutes an evolutionary puzzle.
Kissing Could Be a Quick Test or Preparation for Fertilization
So why did kissing evolve?
One possibility is that kissing serves as a subtle biological assessment. A kiss can help gauge the genetic compatibility, health, or suitability of a potential partner. Reproduction is quite costly, especially for female mammals. A quick chemical and sensory assessment could provide an evolutionary advantage.
Another theory is simpler: Kissing may be part of foreplay. By increasing arousal, it can raise the probability of fertilization. For example, in humans, sexual arousal makes vaginal chemistry more favorable for sperm. From this perspective, kissing could be a biological preparatory stage.
A Bonding Behavior
However, kissing isn’t just romantic. Among primates, it’s a behavior that strengthens social bonds. Parents kiss their offspring. Friends kiss when greeting each other. Chimpanzees are known to “kiss and make up” after arguments, thus reducing social tension. In highly social species like ourselves, bonding behaviors are crucial for survival.
Perhaps one of the most interesting findings is the evidence suggesting that Neanderthals likely kissed as well. Shared oral microbes and genetic mix between humans and Neanderthals may point not only to food sharing, but perhaps also to close contact and kissing.
Ultimately, a behavior that seems so deeply emotional and intimate to us may actually be very ancient—a hereditary behavior rooted deep in primate history. Humans may have incorporated kissing into poetry, cinema, and rituals. But its origins go back much further than Valentine’s Day cards and Hollywood finales.
A kiss may feel fleeting. But evolution tells us that’s not the case at all.
My Primatologist Friend’s Opinion
After sharing this article, let’s now get the expert opinion of my primatologist friend, Aslıhan Niksarlı. According to her:
“Mouth-to-mouth contact, or what we call “kissing” in human communication, has been observed in some primate species, primarily apes. However, similar forms of contact, sometimes referred to as “kissing” in the literature but not meeting all the definitional criteria of this behavior, are known to occur in a wide variety of other organisms such as mammals, birds, fish, and even insects.
The existence of “kiss-like” behaviors among species can still be considered an evolutionary enigma.
However, survival and reproductive success, especially in primates, largely depend on social relationships. Physical contact among primates, primarily grooming, as well as behaviors such as hugging and kissing, play an important role in strengthening social bonds.
Post-conflict mouth contact or displays of closeness can function as a “no threat” signal, support intragroup dynamics, and similarly, physical closeness within a group can maintain social order.”
I would like to thank dear Aslıhan for her valuable contributions to my article.
Now, let’s talk about my own experiences.
My experience
In my opinion, kissing a living thing (human, animal, plant, etc.) is a way of expressing and conveying your feelings to the other person. It directly reflects your different moods.
It’s a way of reciprocating the love of a loved one (especially your parents). Positive effects.
Kissing your child or pet, on the other hand, stems from pure love. It’s a direct outward expression of the affection you feel inside. It’s an expression of unconditional love.
The difference between good and bad kisses
Kissing your lover, partner, or spouse depends on how much you love them or how passionate you are about them. These kisses show differences in stages. I’m listing kisses from the most reluctant to the ones that will take you to the clouds:
1) Out of disgust
2) Forced
3) Out of respect
4) Out of sexual desire
5) Out of love
6) Out of passion
7) Out of love
…we can define kisses in this way. May God never let anyone fall into the position of kissing out of disgust or force. Kissing out of respect and sexual desire is acceptable to a certain extent, but after a while you feel it’s not enough on its own. If you kiss someone out of love, it’s beautiful; if you kiss out of passion, it’s wonderful; and if you kiss out of love, it means you’re experiencing feelings of “indescribable, must be experienced” magnificence.
The Power of Hugging
Speaking of giving kisses, we can’t ignore the power and importance of hugging. As a significant expression of love, hugging is also a kiss of hearts. While all our organs are in pairs in our bodies, our hearts are one, located on the left side of the body, and when we hug each other, we become one body, doubling our hearts as well. We can also facilitate the transfer of energy between two souls through their bodies by embracing each other.
Love for a better world.
My wish for all people is this: May God grant all people, in some way, at least love, and if possible, passion, and that love at least once in their lives. Because amidst so much evil, the only element that binds us together is love. This also applies to monkeys and other animals. Through love, it is possible to create a better world for all living beings. Don’t withhold expressions of love from your loved ones, such as hugs and kisses.
Bonus: Having said all this, I’m dedicating Tarkan’s “Kiss” song (aka ‘Şımarık’), which perfectly suits the concept of this article, motivates us while listening, and gives off positive energy, to all my readers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpp69ghR1IM
